The Art of Witty Banter

A good conversationalist’s talent is making sure the other person is comfortable. With comfort comes openness, then comes rapport, then comes an environment ripe for witty banter. We can do this by remembering to ask broader questions that aren’t looking for a right or wrong answer.

Remember, place boundaries on your answers, and this often means answering a slightly different question than was asked. It’s all too easy when you understand that people aren’t seeking an accurate answer or stance, they just want to move things along.

The easiest way to make sure you react appropriately to a story, statement, or question is to take a step back and ask yourself, “What is the primary emotion being shared here?” and then give that back to them!

the vast majority of emotions people share and want reciprocal, congruent reactions to are: joy, annoyance, anger, sadness, humor. Note that three out of five are negative. That’s people for you!

Here are the two key areas that are important as far as the focus of your compliments goes: things people have control over, and things people have made conscious and specific choices about.   You should compliment people on the things they can control like their clothing, fashion style, hairstyle, and living space.

Witty comebacks actually have their own more formal name: “laconic phrases,” so named after Laconia, a region in Sparta that was famous for its reputation for humorous retorts. After conquering southern Greece[CU1], Phillip II of Macedon was said to have sent word to the Spartans: “Shall I come as friend or foe?” The response was swift: “Neither” (what a burn). But it doesn’t stop there. Phillip II replied, annoyed, “If I invade Laconia, I’ll turn you all out.” The response from the Spartans was as sharp as it was brief: “If.”

“I love dogs, but I hate seeing, hearing, and touching them,”